In the passing evening light I wait. For the darkness to come and envelop my body like a thick black cape.
The fears of what ifs, what could of been and what never was.
I feel fears deep breath against my cold skin, I know its there… Ive felt it before. Like a well known enemy.
One that picks on me and takes no time for friendly introductions.
A school ground bully, the father who said no time and time again. The angry man who knew better. Who left me trapped and fighting for my life.
I knew him well.
I carried the guilt like a badge. Emblazoned on my body like a red hot mark burnt into my skin.
In this place I sit and allow the fear to come into the light and there it is, a circus clown and man about town with too big trousers and ill fitting jacket.
Whos laughing now?
Hope prevails and I am here and knowing this I look around. No longer do I feel fears vice like grip or sense the presence of the smoke and mirrors, I know the truth and that is all there is.
In time they will know, when its meant and with the right words, Maybe not in this life but they will know.
I sit and laugh at fear and it nestles up to me like a new born pup.
I am safe.