Edges…

night-1

Car crash moments and hazy feelings

Unsure edges of where I end and life begins

Total recall of damaged days and toxic fear

Heavy breath and smoky fingers , touching where they were not invited

I lost my voice and who I was in willowy wisps of icy air

Windows that looked up in to the night sky

I wanted to be among them

Free to float in blankets of darkness and silky stars

I left my body never to return

But now I have, I occupy the moment and feel my skin bathed in subtle sun and warm caress

Beckoning me to gently move forward

I am safe in this new body and held by the chant

I am loved from this place and I no longer need to hide in shadows

I am here and I am enough….

Night…

night-1

Like mist the darkness falls.

It takes me into its dark embrace, to block out light and shroud me in its cold tendrils,

I fear the night that comes upon me with no warning no explanation and no heart.

If only I could feel the shift in the air from day to night, at least have a clue.

Its here again, the moment before I breathe out and let go.

Night as black as death it keeps me locked in its menacing hold.

Until I light a single flame and night withdraws into the deep places of a thousand regrets.

Over the edge…

I look before I leap

Pray before I sleep

No longer over the edge

Ive survived the darkest pain

I choose to live again

No longer over the edge

In chant with faith so true

No longer feeling blue

I choose to live my life

No more pain or endless strife

No longer over the edge

I notice love around

In such joyful hopeful sound

No longer over the edge

Im here and fully me

You look at me you see

No longer over the edge

Little things…

It used to be BIG things that made me happy.

Now its tea,and ☀

I used to require grandness but now its simple

The warm sunlight teasing my cold feet

The lapping of the sea against the stony beach

Birds majestically swooping up above

Colorful flowers greeting t

The morning spring light

I love the chant, the dance and the smell of incense

Blessed food and spiritual company

Writing simple words and expressing who and what I am

COSY nights with hot baths, candles and chill

Its not the big things that mean so much…

Just here…


No place to go, nothing to do

Just here. 

Nothing ventured but no need to gain

Just here

Busy as a mark of existence,to prove I’m worthy

Why do people cling to there lives for all its worth?

It isn’t measurable by sweat,blood and tears

How good we are or should of been

None of it matters, the soul doesn’t mind

I sit and chant while you toil away in a job you hate trying to be heard and seen

Bread without the butter

What for?

When the final curtain falls and your buried deep in the earth

Who cares, they might for a while but like the seasons you will be forgotten…

So.I am present but nothing to do. 

Just here….

Time…


Old man time.
He  calls the shots. He knows all there is to know. Pipe pressed against his chalky lips and weathered brow.

Musty smells in the forever forest

That’s where he lives. Old man time. 

He calls lonely souls to sit  and drink with him. To while away the hours before the final curtain falls.

He keeps the water hot and fire ablaze

Welcome, safe and warm 

In the darkest hours of the night

When all the owls are sleeping,the fire blazes on

If your still there in the morning as the birds greet the sun

You’ve won

You are free to go and live your life anew 

If not you are trapped by old man time

A forever beating of a dying heart

Vortex…

I zone in and zone out

The screen beckons like a gateway to oblivion

Fantasy worlds that have no edges

Created worlds with no limits

Soulful lost eyes that encourage me into the darkness

Time ceases to exist and takes me under

Down into the vortex of mindless motion and soulless words

The world of the screen and unbridled passions

Who am I without this place?

Somehow familiar but not sustaining

I choose a different path and walk a different road

Just for today…

burning-bridges

 

 

Change …

Why do I fear that which I cannot see

The past rushes in to the present like a bullet train

My soul seeks to understand

There is no rule book, no map, no guide

Who am I in this new land

Beautiful new pastures of curious suggestion 

New roads appear, untravelled, unspoilt, unknown

I feel my heart race with familar feelings

The past is that and here I am

I take my first step. 

Change….

Beyond the Dream…

IMGA0020

Dedicated to my brother….

I wake and know my truth.

Your not here and wont come back.

I wish you would, so I could see you laugh again and say those stupid jokes

To run around with the kids playing football and pretending you were king.

But your not coming back.

I wish I could say that I knew how you felt, to let you know that you were not alone.

Even in the dark dark hours of the soul you were never alone.

When you spoke you showed me your pain that touched the edges of mine.

The night you left you never knew just how much I loved you.

So now I wake and your not there, I wish you were but its beyond a dream…